Good bye Addie; love you, miss you

I was going to take some time and write this out all perfect like, but honestly I just think I need to get it out and get it gone, so please forgive me as a ramble. Friday my dog died. Blunt, simple, honest, she was young, and her heart gave out for no reason, vet said there was absolutely nothing we could have done. More on the details of the event to follow, I'm more interested right now in talking about how this amazing little ball of fur touched my life.

Back in 2007 wifey and I were ready to add to our family but we weren't ready to have kids. We both love dogs and decided that was the natural next move. My Uncle is a breeder of English Springer Spaniels and has always said I can have a dog whenever I want one, so plans were made and we counted the days (not unlike having a kid.)

On October 7th we got a call that the puppies had been born, and that there was one dog in particular who was perfect for me, so perfect in fact that she was given the name "Shawn's Dog." Two weeks later wifey and I made the 5 hour road trip to my uncles house to meet the dog's and pick out our dog. "Shawn's Dog" had been given a secret name so that our (my) choice wouldn't be influenced. We got there and played with the dogs, they were all amazing, but there was one dog who just stood out, she was the runt of the litter, fast, smart, and ran the show. It was love at first sight. I bonded with that puppy that day and made my choice, this would be "Shawn's Dog" whether or not she was the first dog to be given that name. I found out after telling him that She was the dog I wanted, that "Tiny" was actually "Shawn's Dog."

It was four more weeks before "Shawn's Dog" came home. I was home from work that day so I had an entire day with her to myself. We tried out names, but nothing seemed to stick, Charlie, Cali, Cachia (wifey is crazy sometimes), finally we settled on Addie, based on a character called the bone woman from a book I was reading at the time.

Addie was amazing, curious, funny, adventurous, loyal, and just so loving. It's hard to put into words, everyone say's they have the best dog in the world but there was just something about Addie's personality, everyone loved her, anti dog people loved her (tolerated is probably more accurate but still). There is so much I can say about her life, but mostly, it was too short. She was never happier then when she was swimming or playing fetch, she woke me up every morning, usually by snuggling up really close, putting her nose in my face and sighing into my mouth until I woke up.

The weird thing this week has been going to the bathroom and not being followed by Addie, watching the news before work without her laying on my feet, and coming home and not having her greet me at the door. Because as I started this post with, Addie died on Friday, for those of you who don't do math well, Addie would have turned 4 in October. I really wan't to type out the details of Addie's last day with us, but I think she deserves more. Short form, she apparently had a heart defect that was undetected, after a couple of hours swimming her heart gave out. My dog died in my arms on the way to the vet, I used CPR, brought her back once, but she went again withing a few seconds. Addie was dead in my arms for 10-15 minutes before we reached the vet. I prayed and hoped but I knew it was too late, there was nothing to be done.

I took her the top of Sumas mountain and buried her with her favorite toys, collar, and a few other items that night...I also drank, a lot...Saturday we went back to the grave so Wifey and my little girl could see it and say good bye. We covered her with rocks and put her puppy collar on her grave. It's a weird experience, what do you say in a situation like this. Wifey said good bye, I said thank you, but it was the words of my daughter that were just perfect. When we prompted her to say good bye, my two year old daughter looked at the grave and said, "Good bye Addie; love you, miss you."

Nothing I could write will ever sum up my feelings better the those words spoken by a little girl 2 and a half years old. It's amazing how much a dog can mean to you, how complete they can make a family. Addie was without a doubt my best friend.

Really?!?!?!?!?!

Ok, a few things, first, before I learned that you should always cheer for your home team I was a Bruins fan. My first hockey jersey was a #8 Cam Neely jersey. So, a very heart felt congratulations to the Boston Bruins, 9 year old me is dancing for joy and celebrating with you.

Next, this has been the single greatest season in Vancouver Canucks history. 69 win's including the playoffs, 1 win from the cup, more mileage then any other team in the league, it's outstanding, hats of to a very successful season.

Finally the riot, my big issue right now is the people referring to these idiots as fans. Well I guess the riot is the biggest issue, but come on, it's a game. Our boys gave it their all and lost to the better team. The injuries we suffered were too much to over come, it happens. Every play can hold his head up high for the effort...I think this team embellished WAY too much, and wow was our team a horrible example of sportsmanship but, this is my team, We are All Canucks.

Not sure I can still be proud to be from Vancouver...Toronto had the G 20 riots, we riot over the Canucks and Guns and Roses. Indy, gone; Vancouver Open, gone; Fireworks, gone...why? Fires, stabbings, and other general BS...it's disgusting, it's embarrassing, and I just don't know what to think or do.

How was your week?

My week started out excellent, granted it was very busy, but it was overall great. I worked 57 hours, and was excited about seeing my niece and nephew on Friday. Then, no hey we made it phone call. I knew my brother and his fiancée were planning to crash at my cousins house, but I still expected the courtesy of a phone call that they had made the trip. Saturday I went to men's breakfast at 7am, had a great talk about being made in the image of God, worked from 8am until 7pm, went home to a BBQ for my birthday, expecting to see great friends and my family. Friends were there, wife, child, dog, no sign of the brother and his family, I had called Friday, his phone was off. So much for the BBQ, I wonder if we'll still golf like we had planned. Up early Sunday morning, great worship service, tired but excited, text message, we're at the ferry, see you guys this weekend in Powell River...needless to say I was LIVID. While taking some time to cool off I find out wifey had sent a text explaining her frustrations with the whole situation, she gets her head bitten off by my brothers fiancee. At this point wifey should have just gone with a "fair enough" and let it go, but that's no the girl I married :) Sheena then mentions the lack of courtesy that was shown ect...and receives the following text back "You're a real bitch, you should take a pregnancy test." Oh family, oh love, wow, kill shot. Horrible as those comments are, here are some underlying realities in our lives, this weekend wifey's sister had a miscarriage, also, we've been trying for almost a year to have a second baby. It's to the point that once a month we tend to get a little upset... her more then me but it's frustrating. So ya, how was your week?

That was depressing

No blogs, why? I'm spent, finished, done. Not with blogging but wow what a first four months of 2011. Turns out it takes a lot of work to pull straight A's, on top of that my client at work didn't get any less demanding during that time...not to mention my volunteer leadership at the church...was a harder 4 months then usual with me stepping into roles I havn't done for years so I could cover for someone who had decided to quit. There have been some serious emotional roller coasters in that time as well that I'm refusing to talk about...long story short I'm exhausted and was looking forward to a summer of nothing, but instead I'm playing baseball, my neck only sort of better (sure to be worse by the end of the season) and I'll be working 50 hour weeks until the end of June...my May camping trip is exciting me a lot, just my and my best buddy and a canoe.

Blog...s?

Been way too long, so here is a super quick update on my life because I've been way anti social, way busy, and way...way.

-Accepted into school for the January 2011
-Register for classes December 9
-Remembrance Day on a crisp November, strikes me every year that I am at these ceremonies that God must be in control, for some reason it just seems right to have this on cool crisp days rather then warm summer days.
-Found out today that my long term shoulder issues were in fact not issues with my shoulder. I have an old injury to my C3 and C4 vertebrae. For the next 6-9 months I have been banned by my doctor from: Running, Sports, anything that puts a 'load' on my neck, anything that may 'jar' my neck, lifting weights heavier then 10 to 15 lbs, straight leg ab exercises, sit-ups, crunches, push-ups. Exercise I am still allowed to do: Swimming, road or stationary biking, elliptical trainer. I have been told by my doctor to take up to 4 extra strength Advil or Ibuprofen, follow a very rigid stretching routing daily, relax. At the end of this 6-9 months if I am not healed I will be looking at having neurosurgery to repair the damage...yay me.

Thank's for reading my list.

Something Positive

Ok, that last post was sort of winy and stuff. I want to post something awesome. As some of you know, I spent much of August traveling. This is a story about one of those trips...the weekend of August 28th. I drove solo, just my, my dog, my golf clubs, 1 bag of clothes and of course my car. I love my car, I love to drive, I love to drive my car. My car is very fast, too fast really, and it handles like a go cart, it's insane to drive. So with all the exhaustion going on in my life after work on Friday the 27th I was able to just get into my car and put my foot into and drive. Corners without slowing down, check. Down shift and pass slow moving vehicles like they were standing still, check. I am able to drive, and love it, on the ride home I would touch 200km's an hour...this is stupid, I am happy I didn't die, and I won't be trying to go that fast again.

I got to 100 Mile House BC in around 4 hours from that trip. Went to my friends parents house where a dinner was going on. I didn't stay for dinner, I just wanted to check in with them, let them know I had arrived, and then talk with them about final preparations for the next days events. Good talk with Mom, shared some tears and a fantastic hug. Went home to my Mom and Dad's house.

It's funny how different life becomes as you get older. I couldn't tell you the last time I was alone with my Mom and Dad for an extended period of time. We laughed, played crib, drank beers, visited. It was really wonderful to just hang out with my folks without anyone else around.

Anyways that night I excused my self and went to the guest room. I had written out what I was planning to say weeks in advance of the service we were doing the next day but I was feeling the need to change a few things. I spent about an hour balling my eyes out and rewriting the dedication I was doing the next day. Prayed for the family and that God would use me and speak through me. Then I slept. I woke up to bacon and eggs...this is camping food on wifey and I's world...a world where bacon is not to be cooked inside...ever...well not ever but needless to say it was a great treat. I ate my breakfast, dressed and bolted out the door for the main event of the weekend.

I got the house, talked with the family, talked with the best friend, asked him to give a toast at the conclusion of my part. Grabbed Jamie's Bunniekins mug from when he was a baby, put it in the blue velvet bag that also held a cansiter containing the ashes of a man who refered to me as "Uncle Shawn." I picked Jamie up, and together with his brother Sean, and his mother Debbie, we walked a beautiful trail into the park in the middle of the town we grew up in.

We walked to a bench beside a river, about a km further up the river is an amazing water fall where I have more memories then I can even begin to count. A stones throw from the bench is the spot where my wife and I first began our relation ship. Across the river from the bench is the tree that a friend from high school fell out of and died. At the foot of that tree is a bench, a bench in his honour. This park is alive with memories from my past.

It is beautiful and unfortunate that we are all about to make another memory. Two years and a few days after Jamie passed away we are gathered to dedicate a bench in his honour and spread his ashes. I wont bore you with exactly what was said. We all cry, we all laugh. At the end of my dedication Jamie's best friend comes forward. Cups are handed out and Ryan speaks a toast to who Jamie is and what his life meant. Sean and I open the bag and grab the mug. We open the container and there is Jamie. I fine dust, not quite white, not grey either. It is an image that will stay with me forever. Another memory at the park. Sean takes a large scoop of his brother and tosses him in the river. The bench is located in a pretty calm spot of water. It takes a few minutes for all of the ashes to be washed away. Everyone is quite, not a sound is made. We cry again, only tears, no sound. People are hugging, and then, fitting with this family, Sean warns us all that we probably don't want to go swimming for a while.

We all talked, laughed, and for some of us, caught up as we hadn't seen one another in years. We played golf, ate dinner, shared prizes, more laughs, lots of great stories about Jamie were told. It was a great night. The next day Sean and I went for a drive, ripped hard on my car, less hard on his car. Then I loaded up and took the solo trip home. I was deep in thought for that entire drive home, and because I had my GPS I decided that I would rather then take the Fraser Canyon for the umpteenth time, I would take highway 12 from Spences Bridge to Merrit, then I would take the Coq to Hope and finally home. I have never drive the number 12 but I know it's twisty, and it's beautiful. It was a rather spirited drive, many amazing corners I was able to throw my car into and out of. I also set a new personal land speed record when I hit the Coq.

Back to the drive on the number 12. This road follows a river, not the Fraser, a smaller river, it is twisty like the river, climbs hills, lots of farms, amazing cliffs. Honestly it is breath taking. As I was driving I was thinking about how amazing God is to make such a diverse world, and that even though I can't understand why He would need to end Jamie's time on earth a month before his 25th birthday I know he had his reasons and that he loves me. I was also thinking about the metaphor of my taking a road untraveled. I had never done a memorial before, 7 days later I would be doing a wedding for the first time, also, I was talking about going back to school. As this was going through my mind I came around a corner and there was the most amazing double rainbow. I love God's timing. Enjoy my horrible picture, and as always...

Thanks for reading.

Another one down

Well pig roast 2010 is over. By all accounts it was a successful event...sorry to little larry that you had to see the head...I tried to hid it but some one opened the lid.

Why does it seem like life just never slows down...ever? Since the end of my vacation it seems like I have been rushing from one event to another. Vacation, work trip, memorial service trip, perform a wedding trip. Back to school, life should slow down but no. I have so many thing's that I am involved with that it seems like things will never slow down again. I'm complaining but wow life is insane.

Plus side is... November is coming. I feel quite confident that by November life will be much calmer....wishful thinking I know, but yes I choose to belive that November will bring peace and rest to a weary man.

Thanks for reading