"Man-spressions"

Acceptable:

1. Bro: Term used in reference to, or greeting of another man...who is your friend (Fun fact, is also Swedish for Bridge)

2. Dude: See Bro (Though originally used to denote an ill-bred and ignorant, but ostentatious, man from the city)


To be Avoided:

1. Bra: Pauly Shore inspired version of "Bro"

2. Man Card: An imaginary card that men supposedly carry harkening back to the day's of clubs and groups who's members carried cards. (This was a great expression for a very long time, however it has since "Jumped the Shark" and thus now falls into the to be avoided category due to over saturaion)

3. Douche/Douche Bag: Even as I type this I have a small smile on my face. At one time I honestly believed that "douche" was the single funniest word in the english language...even though it's a French word that means "to shower." Again however, due to over saturation it's just a sad sad silly little word.



Never to be Used:

1. Metrosexual: A term invented by marketers to deal with men who care about appearance and grooming (it's not a new fad losers)

2. Manscaping: The act of grooming of male body hair (everyone should do this, we just don't need to talk about it, and we definately don't need a special new expression, it's hair, you trim it, shave it, or both)

3. Anything Frenchy french: "Je ne sais quois" as an example, you don't sound worldy, cool, or more artsy, you sound like try-hard and no one is impressed.

Been a while

Ok, I know it's getting warmer, Summer is peering it's glorious head around the corner, but guess what...IT'S NOT HERE YET. I commend some people for their ability to do as they please but honestly, if I can see goosebumps all over you I know you're cold. Put away your shorts and t-shirt for another month...maybe two. I've happily put my winter jackets away hopefully until next winter, but I'm still wearing pants and grabbing a sweater when I go out...

Thanks for reading.

Some Useful Information

I want to pass along a couple formulas today. I stumbled across this and thought I would pass it along. We've all been there, people over, need to order pizza. How many pizza's do I order?

First you need to consider the croud. All guys? Use the golden formula 3p/8...ALGEBRA IN A BLOG!!! I know, settle down, I'll walk you through it. 3 is the typical number of slices the average guy will eat. p=PEOPLE, simple right. now as you recall a number and a letter side by side in algebra is a multiplication question. 12 people over? 3x12=36. Ok and we all know that / is as divison sign? so 36/8=4.5 Round up to the nearest whole number and we discover that you need 5 pizza's when 12 man are gathered.

What about if your gathering includes women and children. This is a much simpiler formula p/4. Total number of people divided by 4 equals pizza's to order. Again round up to the nearest whole number. I had this as a modified man formula but my wife pointed out that 2p/8 is the same as just p/4 so why get complicated.

The final formula. This is from my day's building and running a Pizza shop in my late teens and early 20's. Pizza dough is weighed out to make the various sizes. Small is typically 10oz, medium 15 oz, and large 20oz. With that information, if you felt so inclined you could take the undounded numbers into account and order accordingly...but seriously left over pizza is amazing why bother? Just stay away from pepperoni and other sausage...that crap will KILL you.

Thanks for reading